T H E T H E R A P I S T  D I R E C T O R Y  O F  S A N D I E G O


by Sheila Henry, MFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Sheila Henry, San Diego Marriage and Family Therapist

“I don’t deserve to have….”
“If only they knew what I’m really like, they wouldn’t like (admire, trust) me.”
“I’ll be all alone if I succeed in….”
“I never get what I want.”

Are you drowning in a sea of limiting beliefs? Beliefs such as the ones listed above? Perhaps some of the above or similar thoughts flit through your mind every so often—but you don’t really admit to them. If you want change and more choices in life then you will need to change your beliefs and your behavior. “If you do what you always did, you get what you always got!”  
Your beliefs influence and mold your behavior and yet many people have some limiting beliefs that stop them from achieving their goals. Beliefs are views about yourself, others and the world that determine the decisions you take and the way you behave in everyday situations. The person with the most flexibility in thinking and behavior has the best chance of succeeding.

Ron came for therapy because he could not sustain a nurturing relationship. Women were always taking advantage of him and his good nature. He was the person who always gave and he received very little. We worked together using NLP and he recounted some childhood experiences where he always entertained the other children in elementary school. He would get them laughing by being the class clown. At that time, he began to believe that people would only accept him for what he could give them. As we continued with some ego-strengthening exercises, he realized that he could change his belief system. “I am worthwhile! I do deserve to have a really good relationship!” His voice and posture changed. He was able to change his beliefs—and now believed that he was worthy and deserved a good relationship. Soon afterwards he started a new relationship that was mutually nurturing.

How do you know if you have limiting beliefs? Sometimes people know, but most of the time these beliefs are unconscious. If you have a goal or a dream and you have tried unsuccessfully for a long time to achieve it, you may be stopped by a limiting belief. A trained counselor can hear you state a limiting belief—even though you are surprised that you said it. People do say their beliefs out loud and often are unaware that they have actually said it. 

Beliefs are a self-fulfilling prophecy! There are beliefs of excellence—beliefs that empower you to act and behave in a way that releases your potential and allows you to express the real you. Successful people succeed because they believe they can.  

What would you be like if you believed….
    “I deserve the best!”
    “I can succeed in my dreams!”
    “When I succeed, I’ll have close relationships with other successful people.”

The magic of NLP is that you can change your beliefs. With NLP, you can build your own set of beliefs to support the way you want to be. Instead of drowning in a sea of limiting beliefs, you can choose to soar with the eagles!

For more information about Sheila Henry, Marriage and Family Therapist, go to:
Sheila Henry, MFT


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